Blog

Rowing with two oars

Rowing with two oars

Maybe you asked yourself: “what does this photo have to do with grief?” This is a photo of a corner house in Amsterdam that I regularly cycle past. When someone experiences loss, they might feel something like waves; sometimes processing the loss & and sometimes...

Reflecting on the loss of a loved one

Reflecting on the loss of a loved one

Clients often tell me that it is hard to talk with family and friends about the loss of a loved one; maybe a parent, partner or child. Somehow people want to avoid the subject, or don’t know what to say, unless they too have had a similar experience, then they have a...

Dealing with Grief and Loss

Dealing with Grief and Loss

Every day we all have to deal with a range of emotions. Many of these emotions and feelings are the stresses and strains of our modern lifestyles. There are work pressures, family issues, money problems and so many other elements that can cause us all to feel...

What are you grateful for?

What are you grateful for?

2021 is almost over. It was a challenging year and after re-evaluating on several fronts, I now step confidently into the new year. How has the past year been for you and how will you go into the New Year?   For me it was the year where I finished my Dutch booklet ’11...

ArtZuid – Which one of the three?

ArtZuid – Which one of the three?

Hans van de Bovenkamp – vlnr Spire 2008, Menhir Tower 2010, Ode to Mingus 2006 There used to be a Dutch television program, called: ’Which one of the three’. This program was about a son or daughter, and 3 mothers or fathers. Through the questions to the 3 mothers or...

ArtZuid – Burdened by….

ArtZuid – Burdened by….

Erwin Wurm – Big Psycho X 2010 When I saw this sculpture I had to think of the saying: ‘burdened by or suffering from …’. As a bereavement counselor, what came to mind was somebody suffering from grief or burdened by guilt, shame or regret. And these latter feelings...

ArtZuid – “A pot of tear-water tea”

ArtZuid – “A pot of tear-water tea”

Klaas Gubbels, Zijwaarts 2021 I saw this 3rd sculpture and immediately thought of “a pot of tear-water tea”, which I once read in a children’s book written by Arnold Lobel. Everybody who knows me, knows that I love my tea and I regularly drink it with clients. After...

ArtSouth, The world upside down

ArtSouth, The world upside down

Ronald A. Westerhuis – Shine 2021 Part 2 of the ArtZuid series This second sculpture reminds me of a world upside down. When grieving you can experience this, as due to a drastic loss your life has changed forever. Your world is quite literally upside down. The...

ArtSouth – Which face do you show when grieving?

ArtSouth – Which face do you show when grieving?

This series is about connecting the sculptures of the ArtZuid route in Amsterdam with grieving. Loss is inseparably connected with life. We prefer not to think about it. Mourning is the reverse side of love and losing somebody we love hurts, it doesn’t matter whether...

Different Bankholidays

Different Bankholidays

On Sunday evening I danced at home and listened to the song ‘Aquarius’ from the rock musical ‘Hair’. From this song the following lines appeal to me:   Harmony and understanding Sympathy and trust abounding No more falsehoods or derisions Golden living dreams of...

The function of crying after loss

The function of crying after loss

Recently two women in my bereavement group shared; that since their husband died, there were many moments during the day where they felt a need to cry. This reminded me of my own tears during my grieving process. In this blog I'll take a look at the cultural aspects...

The Anniversary

The Anniversary

Emotions around the anniversary of the death of my partnerEvery year as the anniversary of the death of my partner Paul approaches, my emotions are noticeably very present. In the weeks leading up to it I'm more sensitive and more emotional and tears flow easily. It...

Saying goodbye during a pandemic

Saying goodbye during a pandemic

Reflection This week it's 3 years since my mother died. I look back with gratitude at our goodbye with all 5 children at her bedside. We had taken turns to watch over her for 8 days. Everyone was at her funeral; including nieces and nephews, friends and acquaintances....

If you feel like talking

If you feel like talking

I’m offering 30 minute sessions in English or Dutch, in these extraordinary times   The Corona situation The world is in the grip of the Corona virus. The progression is fast and measures we need to implement change daily. Initially some people thought: “ This is...

Major decisions after loss

Major decisions after loss

Situation after loss After the death of my father and later my boyfriend, Paul, my head felt full and it seemed like nothing would go in anymore. Routines were okay and as soon as something new came my way, I got stressed, because there was no space in my head. I...

Special days

Special days

When you are born and grow up, most of us celebrate our birthday. I remember seeing on calendars, which mostly hang in the toilet in the Netherlands, the birthdays and also anniversary of death. As a child, I thought this was strange, why would you want to remember...