by Palmyra Bakker | Dec 30, 2022 | Blog-UK
Another year has gone by in which I shared in the grieving process with many clients. Time and time again, I was deeply touched by the stories of my clients and I am glad that I can provide support with my experiences and expertise.
The new year is experienced by many people as a new beginning. After the winter solstice the days start to lengthen and it is already starting to get light a little longer. A new year begins and whatever your circumstances might be, I wish that there may be numerous bright spots.
Julie Parker has written a beautiful poem about this.
And as we end this year
We pause and shed a tear
For all we have lost
For those we hold dear
No longer here
For those far apart
Always in our heart
For those who are near
Living in fear
Behold the light
As it shines bright
Even in the darkest hour
Love, our healing power
Will see us through
As the energies shift
And we begin anew
by Palmyra Bakker | Nov 24, 2022 | Blog-UK
Maybe you asked yourself: “what does this photo have to do with grief?”
This is a photo of a corner house in Amsterdam that I regularly cycle past.
When someone experiences loss, they might feel something like waves; sometimes processing the loss & and sometimes working on recovery; like the metaphor: “Grief is rowing with two oars.” This is taken from Stroebe en Schut’s dual process model.
It takes a lot of effort to keep a boat afloat, and balanced in order to move forwards . Sometimes you go round in circles, depending on which side demands more attention. The two oars each represent an aspect of the grief process.
If someone focuses only on the loss there is a chance that they will get stuck there. However if someone is only focused on recovery there is a risk that the grief is being suppressed. It is important to be able to ride the waves of grief. When grief is not experienced and is pushed to the background it can be triggered later on and re-appear.
This is the case for any kind of loss or change; death, divorce, illness or loss of a job.
If you are in a grieving process I hope that you’ll recognize something in this blog that gives you some insight into how you are steering your boat. This varies from person to person and from moment to moment.
If you recognise that you might feel stranded don’t forget that you can reach out for help.
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