We all experience it at some point in our lives. A family member, friend, or acquaintance goes through something deeply painful, and we want to be there for them. But what do you say? How do you respond in a moment like that? Often, words simply fall short.

From my experience as a grief therapist, I have learned that trying to cheer someone up or offering advice rarely helps. When someone is grieving or carrying deep sorrow, we cannot take that pain away—and in truth, we shouldn’t try to. Pain and grief need space. They need to be felt and acknowledged.

Simply being there for the other person and being available to listen, without trying to change what they are feeling. Often just your presence says more than words ever could. Sometimes even a simple hug can mean a lot.

Grief expert Megan Devine from Refuge in Grief explains this beautifully in her video. She shows why well-intended advice can miss the mark, and how we can truly support someone who is hurting.

If you are grieving yourself, or if someone close to you has experienced a loss, I hope this blog and the video will help you find ways to cope with the pain of that loss.