For me being real means, making authentic contact and being able to show your feelings. That means contact with yourself and with others, when it feels right being able to expose your vulnerabilities. I think this is essential for a good quality of life. Are you able to show your feelings when you have lost a loved one, that meant so much to you?
Sometimes you can’t help showing your emotions and this might be easier with family and friends. At other times we feel like we need to ‘be big’ about it. Do you find it’s really exhausting to keep pretending that everything is OK? Those times that you absolutely dread that someones might ask THAT question and you know you’re in danger of breaking down in tears and not wanting them to think you’re pathetic. This can leave us feeling alone with our grief if we’re not used to asking for help.
Emotions have an important function; fear protects us and keeps us alert to danger, rage is a defense and can be a source of strength, sadness allows a release, it purifies and creates space. An emotion is an inner experience or feeling, linked to a physical reaction, a facial expression and a behavior. If we can’t give ourself permission to express our emotions, it can impact our health and manifest in physical or mental symptoms.
Most people learned early on to suppress their emotions. This can make it more difficult when it comes to mourning.
Have you been able to express your grief in loss?
If you feel like you could use some support with this then please contact me for a short consultation or drop me a line to make an appointment on www.palmyrabakker.nl